I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
