This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
and you fell through a lawn chair
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
