Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
