What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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