if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
