You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
