I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
