Do you still have your period?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
