They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
