Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ketchup is God's man juice
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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