i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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