no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
