vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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