right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize