Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
