just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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