sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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