dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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