Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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