She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
