Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
