his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
