Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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