At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
