So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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