So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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