I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
