why didn't you poke me back
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
