I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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