Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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