cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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