So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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