He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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