you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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