I love black thongs
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
