I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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