I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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