the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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