Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
