Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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