Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He passed out mid-signature
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
