official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
