I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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