Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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