I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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