Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize