I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
