I hate all girls vehemently.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
