I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
