So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
