whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
