You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
