Your tits are I can't wait for
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize