peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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