btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
