Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize