I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
