just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
