i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
there is puke in my bra ... again
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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