So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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