Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

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(858): View more from California

we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.

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(305): View more from Florida

I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"

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(407): View more from Florida

She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead

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(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

wtf

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(850): View more from Florida

We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.

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(315): View more from New York

Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!

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